14 September 2022

Still, I’m unhappy

Written by Bhawani Shankar

Everyone wants happiness, not money. It may be that I have told you in my earlier blog, sorry I started this blog today without any introduction. But now it doesn’t matter I hope you like it.

Money or happiness

A long time ago everybody told me that money is very important. But I did not agree, but later I had to believe that money is very important. So then I went towards earning money, I knew that there is no big deal in this, but I was skeptical that even if I started earning money, would I be able to get happiness. But I had no chance at that time to think about all this, so I had to start earning money.

Now here I will not be able to tell why I started feeling that money is very important, but now I have enough money, but the thing for which I started earning money, that thing is not with me and can never come. Not even with money. So now what to do with this money? What was to be done, I give them the enough amount of money they wanted from me. I spend the rest of the money on wine cigarettes or clubs.

Bhawani Sir

My name is Bhawani Shankar, everyone used to tease me with this name, so I did not even like my name. That’s why I created my social media accounts under a different name. But I thought how long all this would go on, I thought better than hiding things, make some changes in their meaning, then there will be no problem, then I did the same, today everyone speaks to me, Bhawani Sir. The name by which everyone used to tease me is known to everyone today and the secret thing is that my family does not know anything about all these things and neither did they ever want to know. My mother only wanted money, there was no fault of hers because the situation she saw might need money. There was a time when I used to feel that my family, my friends, my relatives should be proud of me, now when the reason is there, what anyone thinks about me, I do not care.

Happiness vs Sadness Battle

Well, I don’t have any problem, I also become happy sometimes but when I am happy then the next moment I become as sad as I was happy. So being happy also feels like a crime, I don’t know what happened, I just don’t like anything, no matter how hard I try. But as I say every time, no matter what happens, I haven’t lost my mind, I have to see what happens.

I am crazy

Some people say brother, why do you do this now, everyone calls you bhawani sir and you drink, smoke. That way everyone will think you’re crazy and start hating you, so those people were right. I also felt that everyone would start hating me. Then I tried to quit all this for a few days, but the habit is a habit, it doesn’t go away easily, I started doing it again but you will be surprised to know that even after knowing all this, no one told me to hate. I thought why it is like this, then i remembered kabir singh movie. you must have seen the movie Kabir Singh, then I understood that everyone here needs something unique, something excited, so maybe even today no one hates me. It didn’t have much effect on my students either. Then I thought I’d leave it that way. Let’s see what to do later. What do you think about me for this, you can tell me in the comments.

And I came to know all this when a girl who was my friend had said something to me just like a friend, then a student got angry on her and started narrating her speech, I explained him a little and asked to calm down.